The Truth about Crown Green Bowling

As you can see, my colleague Ian is engaged in a strenuous and close fought match here. Can he make it to the bar before his pipe goes out?
Here at Manchester Computing we sometimes have a crown green bowls tournament, and it's always a lot of fun, especially if it rains, or if the finalists have to play their game in the dark. It's a man's game, is crown green.
The difference from lawn bowls is that the green has a slight hump in the centre, just to make it a wee bit more complex, and you play from any point on the green to any other point: those flat green players are just wimps.
It's the pie and peas we do it for really, you know.